A Fine Little Fellow

“I understand perfectly well, Mrs. Smedley, that he is the last in the class. I ask your indulgence and comprehension, however. He is, after all, one of the youngest of the fourth graders …What’s that? …Yes, I know there are five children who have birthdays after him. Yes, I know those children are doing better than he is, but don’t forget that three of them are girls, and girls mature faster … What’s that? … He’s still way behind Alex Krieger and Tom Wyckoff ?… Perhaps we should get away from these comparisons … Oh, I do understand perfectly well that you have norms to maintain, but can’t we leave them aside for just one moment? After all, you did say this was the final notice … I can’t believe you really mean it. Excuse me? … Oh no, Mrs. Smedley, it can’t really be the final notice! Please hear me out. He is a fine little fellow.

I’ll admit he’s not as organized as he should be, but he makes up in enthusiasm what he lacks in neatness … Yes, I know that all the papers he turns in are rumpled; that’s because he stuffs them into his book bag. It bothers me, too, but if you looked at the work on them, you’d discover that it was well done … What’s that? …Well, yes, I know his handwriting is messy. I wasn’t referring to his handwriting – I was referring to the content … I’m sorry about the handwriting, too, but perhaps it’s just taking him longer to develop eye-to-hand coordination, or whatever you call it. Excuse me? Even Tom Wyckoff writes neatly? Well, as I’ve already suggested, I think we ought to stop comparing him to Tom Wyckoff or anybody else, for that matter; let’s consider him on his own merits.

It might not show, but he comes home and talks a blue streak at the dinner table about what’s gone on in class. Take the Egyptians, for instance. He became very interested in how the pyramids were built, he took out every book in the library, and … yes, I know the report was messy, but he had it all in his head. I AM AWARE THAT HE LEFT OUT THE TABLE OF CONTENTS AND THE BIBLIOGRAPHY! But it’s not a Ph.D. thesis – it’s a fourth-grade report! Excuse me, Mrs. Smedley, but I’ve said I don’t want to compare him with Tom Wyckoff. However, if you insist upon raving about Tom Wyckoff’s report … I happen to know that his mother is the one who wrote it! What? Why, because she told me so. She was surprised I wasn’t helping my little fellow with his paper …What? Oh no, he’s much too independent. Listen, all you have to do is ask him, tomorrow; he still remembers every detail about how those pyramids were built.

Same thing with the Tasmanian devil: he learned everything there was to know about it. He still talks about it at the dinner table. Yes, I know he doesn’t like putting all those details in writing, but he’s got them in his head! He’s got to shape up, you say? Well, I’m sure he will ‘shape up’ someday, but right now couldn’t you ask for more oral reports? Oh no, indeed, I wouldn’t think of telling you how to teach! I was merely suggesting some sort of work that might bring out his good qualities. It does seem as if an awful lot depends on what he writes by hand … It’s what the world expects of him? I’m not so sure of that. In these modern times a lot of boys and girls use the computer, and I know my little fellow… Excuse me? Not before they learn to write by hand? But he knows how to print; it’s just this cursive business that seems to be difficult. And he can type almost as fast as I can on the computer. I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to interfere. I just wanted you to remember that he’s a little boy, after all.

Why, he still likes to collect frogs and stones. Oh, you ought to see him skip stones over water. It is a wonderful sight: the low crouch, the flip of the wrist, and then the stone hop-hopping over the blue… I know it’s perfectly irrelevant, but it is beautiful. And perhaps it’s not such a waste of time; perhaps some of our aerodynamics experts began by skipping stones.

Now, Mrs. Smedley, surely we can come to an agreement. This can’t be the final notice. I know we’ve discussed him before … No, only twice. Well, I certainly will work a little harder with him if you wish … Oh, Mrs. Smedley, he’s NOT incorrigible! Surely he’s made some improvement since the last time we talked – in math, for example …What? He had the lowest score of the entire class on the achievement tests? Well, that may be, but he’s improved from what he was! He managed to master those times tables, and he was so proud! Excuse me? The rest of the class is on long division? Well, he’ll get there! It’s just that he needs a bit more time.

Yes, I know he comes to school sometimes with dirt up to his elbows. But surely you haven’t taken a drastic measure like this final notice because of a little dirt. He likes to play outside. He likes gym. Do you know what got him really excited this spring? The high jump. He loved it, loved dashing up to the bar and scooting over – used to practice with a stick between two chairs in the backyard. Yes, I know he didn’t come away with any of the prizes at the track meet, but that doesn’t mean he didn’t enjoy himself. What? Do you mean to say that we wouldn’t have received this final notice if he’d won first place in the high jump?

So what if he doesn’t ‘excel’ in anything! He enjoys life, Mrs. Smedley! And he’s fun to have around! …You don’t think so? Because he doesn’t ‘tow the line’? But wasn’t this country founded on individualism? …Well, of course it’s hard to teach a class of individualists, but that’s not a reason to …

What! The decision has already been made? Oh no, Mrs. Smedley! I must talk to the principal … What? He agrees with the verdict? Oh no! Can’t I appeal? Please, Mrs. Smedley, just one more chance…Yes, I know we’ve had two previous warnings. We’ve tried. We’ll try harder. But we can’t change his essence, after all. We love him as he is!”

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The next day a small urn of ashes was delivered to her door. The society was competitive and self-perpetuating, with no room in it for her fine little fellow.